Strangeness.

So, I was invited to go to this church service last night. Wow..like I seriously don't know where to start. I think the first time I TRULY felt God's spirit was in Venezuela...on a dark bus, breathing in the stench of the city, listening to cars honking all around, and God met us there. God filled the bus and filled me up and it was so thick and real and amazing that my body felt that I couldn't even contain it all. Well, for the past couple of years that I haven't been able to go to Venezuela, I've felt so far away from God, like I couldn't physically feel his presence anymore. In my mind, I think I felt that I couldn't feel that unless I went back to Venezuela, or some other country, where people would be totally open and bare and real enough to feel His spirit filling up their bodies.

Last night, I felt that again. When we first walked in, my social anxiety started to kick in a little bit and I was thinking "oh gosh...I hate mingling!" but as soon as we started with some worship time through song...it was insane. I honestly don't even know how to put what was going on into words, but I do know that I haven't felt that in any church, any bible study, any ANYTHING in the United States...I don't want that to come off as judgemental or pious, but I just haven't, plain and simple. It was crazy how within minutes of collaborately opening ourselves up and worshipping Christ, how I felt this instant connection with almost everyone in the room, as if Christ just came through each of us and glued our spirits together. All I know is that I want MORE of that. I want more of true intimacy with fellow Christians. I want to learn from them and them learn from me. I want to not feel ashamed if I can't keep my hands still or my body still when the Spirit is moving inside me. I want more of those people. I told Kristen that I seriously felt like I just went on a date with "them" because now I'm giddy, I'm on a spiritual high, and I want to know them more, I want them to know me more...It's all very strange really. God is strange sometimes...really strange actually. I love knowing that my Jesus is strange and He works in strange (or mysterious if you like that word better..) ways. So, wow, that's what I have to say about last night.