Fear

How much is fear controlling you? I started asking myself that question today after realizing how afraid I felt of someone's reaction. I've always thought of fear as "oh I'm afraid of spiders...or heights...or whatever", but now I'm starting to see a new kind of fear pop up in me and in my close friends and family. A deep fear of others' reactions. I started thinking of all the times that I had compromised my honesty because I feared how someone would react. I remembered back on all the times that I've completely disobeyed what God was telling me to do out of fear...God wants us to be fearless. I want that. I want to have the strength to say that I don't care what anyone says or does, I will not compromise on ANYTHING. If God tells me not to do something, I'm not going to do it, period, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. If God tells me to do something and makes it clear that that is His will for me to do it, I WANT TO DO IT. I don't even want to think twice about it. If the thought of "well, what will she say or how will he react?" even comes into my mind, I want to push it out and remember that MY God is more powerful than ANY hateful word or mean reaction. YES...I love knowing that and I want to put it into practice. I ask you today..is there ANYTHING holding you back right now because you're letting fear camp out in your mind? If God told you something crazy to do tomorrow, would you let fear be your first reaction? Think about it...I am.. :)

Wealth?

The Rich Young Man

16 Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

17 “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments.”

18 “Which ones?” the man inquired.

Jesus replied, “ ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, 19 honor your father and mother,’a and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.

20 “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”

21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

22 When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

23 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

25 When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

27 Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?”

28 Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

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These verses have been tugging at my heart lately. This past Sunday, Kristen and I heard a pastor say "It's not to say that God doesn't want you to have nice things, but you should give a lot." Well, we discussed it afterwards, and this is something that I believe is sugar-coated WAY too often within the church. It seems to me that the people that argue it are those that have lots of "nice things." So I've been praying about this, for discernment, for understand and patience and a lack of judgement or envy. The statement was also said that the only ones saying anything negative are saying it out of envy (paraphrased). I disagree. I don't envy those that have a lot of money and spend A LOT of money on material things. Ok, let me make something else clear before I have this "discussion" (one-sided discussion I guess). I am NOT talking about people that earn a lot of money because I believe that we all have our own GOD-given abilities and talents and God wants us to use those to the best of our ability to further His kingdom. I also believe that if you went to college and worked your tail off in college that you should earn the big bucks. So, this is what I'm questioning, is it God's will for us to possess a lot of materials? (an overabundance that stretch beyond our basic needs)

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8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. 9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD ?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Proverbs 30:8-9

Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf. Proverbs 11:28

A man's riches may ransom his life, but a poor man hears no threat. Proverbs 13:8

He who oppresses the poor to increase his wealth and he who gives gifts to the rich—both come to poverty. Proverbs 22:16

13 Rise up, O LORD, confront them, bring them down; rescue me from the wicked by your sword. 14 O LORD, by your hand save me from such men, from men of this world whose reward is in this life. You still the hunger of those you cherish; their sons have plenty, and they store up wealth for their children. Psalm 17:13-14

His children must make amends to the poor; his own hands must give back his wealth. Job 20:10

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:2

19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matt 6:19-20

18Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Mark 4:18-19

The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. Luke 8:14

You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. Rev 3:17

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That's A LOT. Do you think Jesus really meant what he said? Hmm... What is to gain for the kingdom with a 20 million dollar house filled with CRAP and 6 cars per 2 people? The question is who is to say what is "too much"? Our standards of living are different than the majority of the rest of the world? Is an iPod necessary to live? Is a nice car necessary to live and does it bring honor to Him? I'm thinking out loud so excuse me. It's making me question everything in my life right now. Should I feel convicted for buying new clothes instead of thrift store clothes? Should I feel convicted for going to the tanning bed? Should I feel convicted for spending SO much money on eating out? Where is my money going?? Where is yours?

Quick Reference

This [ http://www.gotquestions.org/divorce-remarriage.html ] is a really great reference that I found that has a good explanation and a listing of verses regarded marriage and divorce. If you don't get a chance to read it (it's not that long..), then here are a few key points I believe the writes makes:

-In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcees, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because they were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).

-Sometimes lost in the debate over the exception clause is the fact that whatever “marital unfaithfulness” means, it is an allowance for divorce, not a requirement for divorce. Even when adultery is committed a couple can, through God’s grace, learn to forgive and begin rebuilding their marriage. God has forgiven us of so much more. Surely we can follow His example and even forgive the sin of adultery (Ephesians 4:32)

-The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32).

-God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good.

Strangeness.

So, I was invited to go to this church service last night. Wow..like I seriously don't know where to start. I think the first time I TRULY felt God's spirit was in Venezuela...on a dark bus, breathing in the stench of the city, listening to cars honking all around, and God met us there. God filled the bus and filled me up and it was so thick and real and amazing that my body felt that I couldn't even contain it all. Well, for the past couple of years that I haven't been able to go to Venezuela, I've felt so far away from God, like I couldn't physically feel his presence anymore. In my mind, I think I felt that I couldn't feel that unless I went back to Venezuela, or some other country, where people would be totally open and bare and real enough to feel His spirit filling up their bodies.

Last night, I felt that again. When we first walked in, my social anxiety started to kick in a little bit and I was thinking "oh gosh...I hate mingling!" but as soon as we started with some worship time through song...it was insane. I honestly don't even know how to put what was going on into words, but I do know that I haven't felt that in any church, any bible study, any ANYTHING in the United States...I don't want that to come off as judgemental or pious, but I just haven't, plain and simple. It was crazy how within minutes of collaborately opening ourselves up and worshipping Christ, how I felt this instant connection with almost everyone in the room, as if Christ just came through each of us and glued our spirits together. All I know is that I want MORE of that. I want more of true intimacy with fellow Christians. I want to learn from them and them learn from me. I want to not feel ashamed if I can't keep my hands still or my body still when the Spirit is moving inside me. I want more of those people. I told Kristen that I seriously felt like I just went on a date with "them" because now I'm giddy, I'm on a spiritual high, and I want to know them more, I want them to know me more...It's all very strange really. God is strange sometimes...really strange actually. I love knowing that my Jesus is strange and He works in strange (or mysterious if you like that word better..) ways. So, wow, that's what I have to say about last night.